HIGH SCHOOL UPDATE: June 11, 2009
This will be my last blog posting of the school year. You may want to check every once in a while during the summer months to see if there are any emergency announcements, but except for that, my next posting will be in early August, as new teachers arrive and as the opening of school approaches. Along with the faculty I wish you a very pleasant and restful summer. If you are leaving us here in Shanghai, we wish you traveling safety, a healthy departure, and a positive welcome to your new home and school.
What is a “healthy departure?” With increasing numbers of international expats moving about the world, there is increasing research and evidence that leaving a place “well” often directly impacts how well people adjust to their new environment. How can this be done?
- Give your children time to say good bye – to the places that have been important to them, to the people who have been important to them. That “final sleepover” that may seem like just too much for you right now may have a very important impact on how well they can welcome new friends into their lives in August. Take them (and yourself) to your favorite restaurant to say goodbye. Get together will close friends yourself one last time.
- One of the hardest “goodbye’s” is to your ayi or driver, especially if you have been here a while. Be sure you have their address or more important phone number so that you can keep in touch.
- Understand that sometimes emotions run high during this period. Everyone – you, your spouse, your friends, your children – are all trying to hold in conflicting emotions. Sometimes this comes out totally unexpectedly as anger, which is reality is only frustration and fear. Keep a watch out for that, and let your emotions out in positive ways. Forgive that undeserved outburst from your child – he or she may be upset, sad, angry, frustrated, excited – all at once.
- Let your child take that last teddy bear you really don’t have space for. They may seem too old for teddy bears, but those connections with childhood and a past even before Shanghai are important.
-PPut difficult relationships to rest properly. Inevitably, when we are in a place long enough, we leave behind some relationships that are not what they should be. Think of those people who you really are NOT sad to say good bye to – and say good-bye to them anyway. If you leave without bringing that difficult relationship to an end, those feelings will get on – and off – the airplane with you. Finish the relationship – with a positive email, a written thank you note, or a smile and a hug. It isn’t fake, it is healing. It will be worth it to put those negative feelings and memories behind you. You can’t say goodbye to negative feelings just by flying away from them. Face them, make them right, apologize if necessary, accept apologies, and wrap that difficult relationship up, knowing that now it truly is in the past. You can now bury the relationship along with the destructive negative feelings related to it. Encourage your children to do the same.
- Say goodbye your child’s teachers from this past year and previous years. Teachers pour a good deal of themselves into their students, and their impact on them has lifelong consequences. Encourage your kids to do the same; it means a great deal to teachers. Teachers work hard to develop positive relationships with their students, and are saddened when students leave, as well.
- Remember that it is often harder for those staying behind. You have a new home to go to, a new job to look forward, to, new places to visit. Or maybe you are going “home” to be near family finally. Those staying behind only have the emptiness of your being gone. Be sensitive to them, too. Remember that your ayi or driver may be mourning your departure, especially if you have small children they have seen grow up. Remember their feelings as well. When you finally drive away heading for the airport, they are left with an empty house to clean. Consider their feelings as well.
- Remember Facebook, Google Chat, email, Skype. I think they were invented for the international life style! If you don’t know how, ask your kids. It’s cheap, or free, and makes a huge difference to your emotional health.
If you and your kids are able to take these actions, hard as they are, you will be able to get leave with sadness, but without grief, and moreover you will be able to say hello to a new place without baggage from the past. We wish you well in your good-bye’s here in Shanghai, and in your hello’s wherever you may be headed.
MOVING YOUR CHILDREN TO OUR SAS PUXI CAMPUS? Seven high school students of our 450+ student body are moving to our Puxi campus. We wish them well, and remind them that each year we do have students who return to Pudong!
TRAVEL PLANS?: The first day of school for returning Pudong students, including current rising Pudong Grade 8 students, is Tuesday, August 18. New Student Orientation for students new to SAS or Pudong is Monday, August 17. A good start to the school year is imperative for students – introductions to teachers, orientation to various classroom procedures, and other vital duties are taken care of. Please make every effort to have your child in school, and recovered from jet lag, on their first day.
Note that 9th graders coming up from Pudong Grade 8 should not come to New Student orientation. They have had a much more extensive orientation this spring, and already know much of what is covered in New Student Orientation – busses, library, nurse, cafeteria, ID cards, etc.
LEAVING TEACHERS: Over the past years you may have gotten to know some of our teachers very well. First, I would like to recognize our teaching faculty members who began with us that first day of Pudong High School school four years ago, and who will be leaving us at the end of this year. Mr. Tony Dent, Ms. Patricia Young, Mr. Michael Williams, Ms. Colleen Williams, Mssr. Loic Charton, and Mr. Glen Blair, who has actually been a member of the Pudong staff a very long time - since 1999 – the previous millennium! These teachers have made amazing personal and academic impact on the lives of our students. Two other individuals who have been tremendously instrumental in leading the creation of our high school and supporting and guiding our students, and who will be leaving us at the end of this year are our Vice Principal, Mr. Paul Johnson, who has been both my right and left hands for the past three years, and the man you has built our guidance department and guided our graduates into college, Mr. Larry Steele. These two gentlemen have spent untold hours in service to our students and to our school. Pudong high school simply would not be the school it is today without their dedication and focus. Thank you, Paul and Larry. Paul will be taking on the secondary principalship of Saigon South International School in Vietnam, and Larry will be moving to IS Beijing.
Teachers who will be moving on to other schools next year include Mr. Tony Dent, Dr. Patricia Young, Mr. Loic Charton, Mr. Glen Blair, Mr. Michael Williams, Ms. Colleen Williams, Mr. Larry Steele, and Mr. Paul Johnson. We wish these teachers well; they have all left their mark on our high school as it has grown and developed from infancy.
The last day of school went well, with a good mixture of turning materials in, saying good-bye’s, signing yearbooks, and having a final assembly of recognizing students with perfect attendance/no tardies, students leaving Pudong or SAS, and teachers leaving Pudong – followed by some games and prizes. It was a good last day, with a record number of students NOT having their report cards held for owing books or money to the school. Thanks for helping in this important task!
During the summer, if you need a transcript or other records, contact the registrar’s office at SAS, or come to the admissions office in Pudong. The high school office will be open and staffed until July 17; it will be closed until August 3, when we will again re-open for full services.
I received a disturbing phone call from a parent earlier this week regarding student weekend/holiday activities. The fact that some of our high school students frequent clubs and bars in Shanghai is no surprise to any of us; alcohol is readily available at clubs, even to underage students. While we teach about the dangers of alcohol use by teens at school, and parents certainly do their best to convey their values to their children, many kids still go to clubs. Your child certainly knows kids who do, if he or she doesn’t go themselves. However, what adds to our concern are reports by students that after drinking too much, some students are going to short-stay cheap hotels to “recover” in groups. Needless to say, teenagers, alcohol, and hotel rooms are not a good mix for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol poisoning, date rape, poor sexual decision making, and illicit drugs come to mind without too much imagination. We can’t fool ourselves that some of our students, like those at other schools in Shanghai, are involved in some of these activities.
The point is that parents need to know where their kids are. Ask your child about clubbing. They may lie to you – as some have – but they also may tell you the truth. Tell your child your values about alcohol and sex – if you don’t, someone else’s kid certainly will. And yes, check on them. Call them when they are out. Call other parents. Set firm curfews. Be nosey. If they tell you that you don’t trust them, tell them that you do, but you also know that sometimes peer pressure is just too great for kids. Host small groups of kids at your own house – and be there to chaperone.
I am sorry to end this last blog – or first, if you are reading it in August! - with such a topic, but it is very important to keep our kids safe. Shanghai is quite safe from violence, but certainly not from substance abuse and opportunities for kids to be alone in ways that make poor decision making easy.
Finally, I want to thank you all for your support of me personally and of our school during the past year. We have felt that support in many ways, and know that often you support our efforts in ways with your children that we never know or hear about. If it takes a village to raise a child, it certainly takes parents and teachers working together to educate kids! Thank you.
Have a great summer!
Jonathan Borden