December 17, 2009 Ally’s second piece of writing is now longer and more focused. It includes paragraphs, and more punctuation. Ally did a good job of building the anticipation in her story by not letting us know what was going to happen. Good Job Ally!
Joe, my old Loved Cat
“Ally, wait up, I can’t ride that fast!” Eve complained. “Do you have the key?” Eve asked
“Yes, I do. Mom gave it to me right before they took Cooper and left”, I yelled. ‘Screech’ I slammed on my breaks. “Why is the car still here?” I asked to myself.
“Why did you stop?” Eve asked then she saw the car still in it’s shed. “Why is the car still here? I thought they left 10 minutes ago.” Eve guessed.
“I did too!” I added. I got on my bike and raced home. I slammed on my breaks and I got off my bike and ran inside. “Anyone home?”
“Ally, we’re upstairs!” my mom yelled.
I ran upstairs! “Why are you still here?” I asked
“Ally…I don’t know how to tell you this but Joe is…dead”, my dad explained.
My heart was pounding. “How…did…he…die?” I asked in between sobs. I ran to my parents and hugged the both. I tried not to cry.
“Ally…It’s OK to cry me and dad did too,” My mom whispered softly. Now I felt a little better but I was still sad.
“Mom or dad, who will tell me how Joe died?” I asked. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t see anything. I was still against my dad.
“Well,” my dad replied “we were backing up and we, well I didn’t know Joe got out when Mommy was getting a snack for Cooper and then when I was backing out I heard a big “Meow” and stopped. We saw Joe under the wheel” my dad explained “Ally, we didn’t know he got out.”
My heart was pounding. I felt I couldn’t think. I felt I couldn’t even breathe.
When I got my breath back I mumbled, “I want Joe back.”
“We know,” my mom mumbled.
And that was the end of Joe my old loved cat.
November 20, 2009 Life in Shanghai Postcard competition
I love the buildings in Shanghai! I mostly like the Pearl Tower. It is very big. It has two balls. You can also go in it! In the top ball there is a hotel! I would love to go in it.
The Pearl Tower is at the bund. The basement of the Pearl Tower is museum about life in Shanghai and the history. My favorite place in Shanghai is a Tourist Tunnel underground! It is like a subway but it is smaller. You go fast so when the lights turn on you can see stories! I love Shanghai!
November 5, 2009 Slide show about Ally’s Musical Instrument showing different pitches and volumes. Pictures taken by Mimi.
October 30, 2009. Ally in her Halloween costume.
October 28, 2009. We observed an Owl pellet. Describe the size, shape, color, and texture of the owl pellet. Ally wrote: Small is the size, oval is the shape, dark green is the color and it feels rough and a little bit soft with the fur.
September 30, 2009. Ally is a published author. This is her small moment that she has written, revised, edited, and published.
THE DOG
I was walking into Doggie House. I saw a tiny fur ball. She was in a hamster cage in the wheel. I cupped my hands and put my hands under her and gently put her on the ground. I took my jacket off. I wrapped it around her slowly and softly. She was so small. I patted her tiny head. I whispered “It’s OK puppy”. “How old is she?” I asked the lady. She said “six to eight weeks”. My mom took her from me gently. “I think we would get her“. So we gave the lady the money and I took the dog from my mom again and wrapped her up again in my jacket. We walked out the door. I felt so good. I didn’t know what to say. I finally got my voice back and said “Thank for the family dog.”
Ally
September 18, 2009. Alley is experimenting with pitch in science, and spending time with her reading buddy.
September 10, 2009, We wrote letters to our parents to welcome them to Open House.
September 9, 2009
In Writer’s Workshop we have been working on writing strong leads. We read many stories to see how published authors started their stories to grab their reader’s attention. Read our before and after beginnings for our stories.
BEFORE
My family was talking about getting a dog. I was excited about going to Doggiehouse! We looked at one dong and she was TINY! She could sit in one hand.
AFTER
We were sitting at the dining room table eating dinner, when I mentioned getting a dog. After dinner I said “Mom, in the middle of dinner you said ‘We can go LOOK at a dog’.”
Dear Ally,
I like your name grid alot. See you on Monday!!!
YOU good soccer
I love your namegrid alot.
You are good at soccer also.
From Julia
what did you name your dog?
Dear Ally, I absolutely adore your name grid. What’s your favorite book? See ya – Peri
Dear Ally,what are you going to wear in Halloween?
Ally,
I really like your story about getting a dog. It was a really memorable moment for me too! I love our family dog and think she’s perfect for our family. I think Heavenly Father helped us pick the perfect dog to be part of our family, don’t you?
Mom
My granddaughter is a very good story teller. I am glad she is in China & attends this school. I am here in China & have met her very wonderful dog. She is a great dog./
dear ally thanks for the comment and please tell eve thanks too
see you, monica
I really like your instrument! What is your instrument called???
i think you are good at soccer.
see you on monday
Dear Ally,
It’s okay because when I was small once my dad was in a meeting with someone and I even called him!!!
-Charlotte
your gonna be a pirate!?!?!?
Dear Ally, you wrote alot of comments on my page!!!
Dear Ally,
I cant’t belive you had like about 10 skulls! I just had 4.
You are great at writing. You are a SUPER SPEED reader.The truth is you are the fastest reader I had met in my whole life.And I’m serious.
See you,
Monica
dear ally,
i read your letter i think it is very good.
i also like all the things disins and colors on yopur namegrid!
-eve/your sis
Dear Ally, I saw your sister write on my page and she wrote hi!
HEY ALLY!!!!!!!!!!!
1.I THINK YOU LOOKED VERY CUTE AT THE WINTER CONCERT.
2.I THINK YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT MATH.
3.YOU ARE A VERY GOOD FRIEND
P.S.
BREASIA IS VERY CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR FREIND:
PERI THE
AWSOME
Hello Ally,
This is Mr. Salsich, the third grade teacher in Connecticut. Thank you for leaving a comment on our class blog!
It is very cool that you have your own page on your class blog. I liked reading your writing about Shanghai and your excellent story about getting a pet dog. I like how you described feeling so happy at the end that you didn’t know what to say. Fantastic writing! Keep up the good work.
From,
Mr. Salsich
Hello Ally,
This is Mr. Greenberg, the second grade teacher, also in Connecticut. I will be checking back to read your latest writing. I taught third grade last year and I am impressed by the excellent writing that you and your classmates are producing. I am going to ask my students to visit your class blog. I hope they will become better writers by following your example.
Regards,
mr. Greenberg
Dear Ally,
I think you are a cool writing partner.You are also great at writing.
see you,
MONICA
allie
i rilly like your insermant
eve
miss ya,
-EUNSEO
Dear Ally
Your story is good. It gave me a strong feeling when your cat died.
What does your cat look like?
Thanks for writing on my page
your friend Mimi
Team Toa
Dear Mimi
I also liked Ally’s story. It was very sad.
Remember all the things you need to include when writing a blog comment. Then you will be ready to comment on blogs around the world.
Mrs. Toa
You are a grate reading buddid .And I hope wil see you on Friday.
Aww! I bet It was really tough for you to get over it huh?
Did you Get A new one?
Dear Ally,
It is great that we keep on writing to each other.
I didn’t name the dog, it was a person in my apartment who owned that dog.
your friend,
Mimi
Team Toa